It's dark. Too dark and too early. The house is still silent, it must only be about two. Still half asleep, i reach for my phone lying on the bedsie table.
1:49am.
I groan inwardly, Ethan will be up in a minute for a feed or wanting somebody to replace the dummy thats fallen out of his mouth while hes been asleep. Silently, I roll back over under the covers. Gary has his back to me, snoring softly into the pillow and occasionally muttering something I can't understand. Slowly, I loop my arm under his, planting the palm of my hand flat against his abdomen, feeling it rise and fall to the pace of his steady breathes, as I rest my cheek against his shoulder and close my eyes one again. ..
Something is hitting me. Get off. Attacking my legs. Subconsciously I try an kicks the unwanted disturbance away. Leave me be.
"Libby!"
I'm jolted awake by a blood curdling cry. My heart hammering I'm my chest as I sit bolt up right, sweat pouring down my back, running cold with fear. What the fuck was that?! Ethan?! I go to make a move from the bed when i hear it again.
"Libby!"
My mouth drys suddenly as realisation hits me. This time I know exactly what it is. It's Gary's voice.
"Libby!"
I turn my body in the bed, only to find Garys body thrashing from side to side violently under the duvet, his face screwed up tightly as he lies sprawled out, his arms flying across over his face.
"Gary?.." Tentatively, I lean forward and grasp his shoulders. 'Baby?..."
To my relief, Gary's body begins to slow, his limbs coming to a stop as he lies on his back in the bed, eyes closed, breathing heavily as the tension begins to fall from his cheeks.
"Gary?..." I swallow again, unable to hide the overriding feeling of fear climbing from my stomach to my throat. "Gary...."
Suddenly, like a flash of light and almost head butting me in the process, Gary's torso flys from the mattress and sits up right as he lets out another hysteric cry. My blood runs cold instantly. This has never happened before.
"Gary!!" I squeal because I don't know what else to do, planting my hands on the back of his shoulders and shaking as vigorously as i can.
"Libby?..." Gary's head turns slowly on his neck.
"Fuck." I breathe out a heavy sigh of relief as Gary gazes down at me, his eyes wide with confusion. "G-Gary are you okay?.." I mutter, adjusting myself on the bed so im sat opposite him.
"Lib..." Gary breathes again and his eyes are now clouded with an emotion I don't understand. "You're here."
"I'm here." I nod my head but furrow my brow at the same time. "Where else would I be?"
"Y-you weren't here." Gary swallows and shakes his head. "L-Lib you weren't here."
"Hey..." I soothe quietly, the way I do with Ethan. "Hey I'm here now aren't I? Ay?" Gently, I shuffle forwards, wrapping two around around Gary's shoulders, combing the tips of my fingers round and round in his messy, slept on hair as my forearms rest against the sides of his head, the stubble from his cheeks tickling me ever so slightly.
Quickly, Gary's arms close around me, caging me in against him until i feel almost claustrophobic. I resist the urge to pull away.
"You weren't here Libby you weren't." Gary mutters again. "And it came out of no-where."
"I know. I know." I whisper, trying desperately to convince him of the words slipping from between my lips. "I'm here Gary. I am."
"You are." Gary nods his head in agreement against me shoulder, almost as if hes trying to convince himself. Its something i would expect Ethan to do. "Yes you are."
"Mm-h." I mutter, planting a small kiss against his temple. "What happened baby? Was it a nightmare."
"Youre here." Gary doesnt answer my question, instead he pants his hands either side of my face and pulls it from his shoulder until my face is directly opposite his. "Youre here." He repeats once more. "Its you."
"Yes.." I murmur as i watch Garys face study mine, his thumbs gently and simultaneously rubbing across my cheeks affectionately. "Gary are you okay?"
"Yes." He nods quickly, suddenly moving his arms from my cheeks to my shoulders and pulling my into him, my face resting in the crook of his neck. "I love you." Gary whispers as he wraps his arms around me once more. "I love you so much and im never letting you go okay? Im never letting anything bad happen to you ever again."
"Okay baby..." I breathe. "Maybe you should go back to sleep now."
"Mm-h..." Garys lips vibrate sleepily against my cheeks as he lies down once more, still holding me tightly against his chest. "I love you. Remember that when im gone okay?"
"Oh Gary." I screw my eyes shut to keep the creeping thoughts at bay. "Youre going nowhere for a long long long time okay? I love you, now sleep." Gently, i lean up and place a small kiss against Garys warm lips, before wrapping my arms back around his sturdy torso and shutting my eyes once again.
Almost as if on cue, the baby monitor on the bedside table crackles into life, Ethans small cry now filling the moment airily silent bedroom.
"Hang on." I whisper to Gary. "Ill go."
"No!" Gary almost shouts, making me jump when i try and slip out of the bed. I wince slightly as his fingers dig fiercely into my sides, keeping me in place.
"Gary..." I look up at him warily. "I need to go to Ethan..."
"No!" Gary swallows again, his eyes are now wide as we sit up in bed. "Libby i said im never letting you go!"
"Gary im going next door to get Ethan okay?...Ill be back in thirty seconds." I swallow hard, silently willing Gary to loose my hips.
"Mmh." He nods quickly. "Thirty seconds."
"Yes." I nod in agreement, slipping quickly from under the covers and half jogging to the bedroom door.
Shit...Shit. Leaning back against the wall between ours and Ethans room, i close my eyes momentarily. What the fuck. What the fuck is going on?
1:49am.
I groan inwardly, Ethan will be up in a minute for a feed or wanting somebody to replace the dummy thats fallen out of his mouth while hes been asleep. Silently, I roll back over under the covers. Gary has his back to me, snoring softly into the pillow and occasionally muttering something I can't understand. Slowly, I loop my arm under his, planting the palm of my hand flat against his abdomen, feeling it rise and fall to the pace of his steady breathes, as I rest my cheek against his shoulder and close my eyes one again. ..
Something is hitting me. Get off. Attacking my legs. Subconsciously I try an kicks the unwanted disturbance away. Leave me be.
"Libby!"
I'm jolted awake by a blood curdling cry. My heart hammering I'm my chest as I sit bolt up right, sweat pouring down my back, running cold with fear. What the fuck was that?! Ethan?! I go to make a move from the bed when i hear it again.
"Libby!"
My mouth drys suddenly as realisation hits me. This time I know exactly what it is. It's Gary's voice.
"Libby!"
I turn my body in the bed, only to find Garys body thrashing from side to side violently under the duvet, his face screwed up tightly as he lies sprawled out, his arms flying across over his face.
"Gary?.." Tentatively, I lean forward and grasp his shoulders. 'Baby?..."
To my relief, Gary's body begins to slow, his limbs coming to a stop as he lies on his back in the bed, eyes closed, breathing heavily as the tension begins to fall from his cheeks.
"Gary?..." I swallow again, unable to hide the overriding feeling of fear climbing from my stomach to my throat. "Gary...."
Suddenly, like a flash of light and almost head butting me in the process, Gary's torso flys from the mattress and sits up right as he lets out another hysteric cry. My blood runs cold instantly. This has never happened before.
"Gary!!" I squeal because I don't know what else to do, planting my hands on the back of his shoulders and shaking as vigorously as i can.
"Libby?..." Gary's head turns slowly on his neck.
"Fuck." I breathe out a heavy sigh of relief as Gary gazes down at me, his eyes wide with confusion. "G-Gary are you okay?.." I mutter, adjusting myself on the bed so im sat opposite him.
"Lib..." Gary breathes again and his eyes are now clouded with an emotion I don't understand. "You're here."
"I'm here." I nod my head but furrow my brow at the same time. "Where else would I be?"
"Y-you weren't here." Gary swallows and shakes his head. "L-Lib you weren't here."
"Hey..." I soothe quietly, the way I do with Ethan. "Hey I'm here now aren't I? Ay?" Gently, I shuffle forwards, wrapping two around around Gary's shoulders, combing the tips of my fingers round and round in his messy, slept on hair as my forearms rest against the sides of his head, the stubble from his cheeks tickling me ever so slightly.
Quickly, Gary's arms close around me, caging me in against him until i feel almost claustrophobic. I resist the urge to pull away.
"You weren't here Libby you weren't." Gary mutters again. "And it came out of no-where."
"I know. I know." I whisper, trying desperately to convince him of the words slipping from between my lips. "I'm here Gary. I am."
"You are." Gary nods his head in agreement against me shoulder, almost as if hes trying to convince himself. Its something i would expect Ethan to do. "Yes you are."
"Mm-h." I mutter, planting a small kiss against his temple. "What happened baby? Was it a nightmare."
"Youre here." Gary doesnt answer my question, instead he pants his hands either side of my face and pulls it from his shoulder until my face is directly opposite his. "Youre here." He repeats once more. "Its you."
"Yes.." I murmur as i watch Garys face study mine, his thumbs gently and simultaneously rubbing across my cheeks affectionately. "Gary are you okay?"
"Yes." He nods quickly, suddenly moving his arms from my cheeks to my shoulders and pulling my into him, my face resting in the crook of his neck. "I love you." Gary whispers as he wraps his arms around me once more. "I love you so much and im never letting you go okay? Im never letting anything bad happen to you ever again."
"Okay baby..." I breathe. "Maybe you should go back to sleep now."
"Mm-h..." Garys lips vibrate sleepily against my cheeks as he lies down once more, still holding me tightly against his chest. "I love you. Remember that when im gone okay?"
"Oh Gary." I screw my eyes shut to keep the creeping thoughts at bay. "Youre going nowhere for a long long long time okay? I love you, now sleep." Gently, i lean up and place a small kiss against Garys warm lips, before wrapping my arms back around his sturdy torso and shutting my eyes once again.
Almost as if on cue, the baby monitor on the bedside table crackles into life, Ethans small cry now filling the moment airily silent bedroom.
"Hang on." I whisper to Gary. "Ill go."
"No!" Gary almost shouts, making me jump when i try and slip out of the bed. I wince slightly as his fingers dig fiercely into my sides, keeping me in place.
"Gary..." I look up at him warily. "I need to go to Ethan..."
"No!" Gary swallows again, his eyes are now wide as we sit up in bed. "Libby i said im never letting you go!"
"Gary im going next door to get Ethan okay?...Ill be back in thirty seconds." I swallow hard, silently willing Gary to loose my hips.
"Mmh." He nods quickly. "Thirty seconds."
"Yes." I nod in agreement, slipping quickly from under the covers and half jogging to the bedroom door.
Shit...Shit. Leaning back against the wall between ours and Ethans room, i close my eyes momentarily. What the fuck. What the fuck is going on?
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