"Bye Bye Gra'ma!" Ethan waves a the tiny, frantic hand that isnt encased by mine in a vice grip as the three of us stand at the bottom of our drive, bidding a farewell to the final member of our family to leave this morning.
"Goodbye my wonderful boy!" Marjorie grins, looking at Ethan, but waving at me as she ducks towards her taxi. Gary follows, effortlessly swinging his mothers over-night bag in his right hand.
"Mum, I would have driven you to the station, you know.." He mumbles succeeding Marjorie to the back of the taxi and opening the car door for her. I nod as Gary plants the beige holdor next to his mother, before moving around to the drivers window to take care of the fare.
"We can still run you there if youd prefer Marjorie, its no trouble?"
"We can still run you there if youd prefer Marjorie, its no trouble?"
"Nonsense!" Marjorie waves another dismissive hand, leaving it to rest on the car door handle to stop it swinging shut as a gust of wind sweeps down the pavement. "You look worn out, the pair of you!" The older woman points a pale-pink-polished finger at each of us individually as Gary rounds the front of the taxi, ruffling Ethan's hair before curling an arm around my waist. "Get some rest, you deserve it."
I smile wearily, grateful of her maternal instinct, but conscious of the bags under my eyes all the same. I squeeze Ethan's little hand tighter as the taxi engine purs into life, urging the toddler further from the edge of the driveway, as mothers do, just another foot or two. "I'm sure we will, safe journey back Marjorie, thank you for coming."
"A pleasure!" My mother-in-law grins again, blowing a quick kiss to Ethan before pulling the taxi door shut and settling back in her seat. We have time to catch her pull a Kindle out of the front pocket of her back, as well as another swift wave before the taxi sales away from the end of the driveway and into the steady stream of traffic at the end of the road.
I breathe out a breath i didnt realise id been holding and my shoulder slack against Garys collar bone as he stands suitably behind me.
"You look beat." He murmurs as i begin to relax against him, just as Ethan begins tugging insistently on my wrist.
I have time to mutter an affronted; "Thanks." Before the toddler begins to shout.
"Home now Mummy! I cold." The three year old tightens four little fingers around my wrist as best he can, urging me back up the white gravel dive and towards the house.
"I told you, you should have put a coat on." I manage a weary eyebrow raise as i straighten my spine once more, beginning to plod, at Ethans pace, back up the drive and remembering the tiresome temper tantrum my son had had when id told him he ought to put a coat on to come and say goodbye to Grandma. I wince, realising that any decent parent would have ensured the coat was on before they stepped food outside; but Gary had been busy helping Marjorie with her bags and i am so exhausted that im struggling to see straight.
"Mummy, carry me!" Ethans small voice pulls me from my thoughts and when i look down he is jerking emphatically at my legs, one arm stretched skyward, asking for a lift.
"Ethan." I deadpan, wishing i could be more fun but not quite being able to summon the energy. "I am not carrying you back to the house. Youre a big boy now you can walk on your own."
I watch, despairingly, as the toddlers eyes begin to brim with tears, his little fingers loosing their grip on my tracksuit bottoms as he recoils into himself. And suddenly, i feel like the worst person in the world.
"Ethe.."
"Ethan!" Gary jumps in, moving in front of me to grab the toddlers attention. "How about i race you back?"
For a moment or two, Ethan merely looks at Gary with huge green eyes, the idea of a race being appealing but can he really afford to give up his puppy dog act? "Come on, monster." Gary urges again, poking Ethan in the side so the toddler has no choice but to giggle. Theres another moment of silence before the three year olds face tips into an ear to ear grin.
"Wedy, set, GO!" He shrieks, laughing hysterically as he begins to run as fast as his little legs will carry him along the gravel driveway.
Gary gasps in mock shock, beginning to jog so slowly i almost laugh. "Hey! Thats not fair!"
Theres another shriek of delight from Ethan as his feet patter up the driveway.
"Careful..." I warn, but its no use, theyre out of ear shot already and i dont have the energy to raise my voice...
"I was winner!" Ethan declares happily when i finally step foot through the front door, having dragged my feet up the drive at an alarmingly slow pace.
"Well done you!" I humour the toddler as best i can, bending to ruffle his hair. "Mind you, daddy is getting on a bit now." Straightening again, i look across to Gary who is stood in the threshold of the kitchen and enunciate the words with a little more venom then intended. For a moment he looks slightly offended. Or that could have just been my eyes- Hell this whole scenario could be a god damn dream. When Ethan toddles off into the lounge to play with the plethora of toys he acquired yesterday, with strict instructions not to put anything small in his mouth, i follow Gary into the kitchen, groaning out loud at the sight of breakfast things stacked by the sink and cereal boxes littering the work-tops.
"I didnt mean you looked bad, you know." Gary speaks quietly as he moves towards the stack of dirty plates, carrying them over to the dishwasher.
I follow with as many mugs as i can carry. "I know."
"Do you?" He catches my wrist as i set the mugs on top of the dishwasher for him to stack when hes finished with the plates.
I nod. "Its fine. I know i look a mess."
"No you dont," Garys brow furrows and i raise mine to counter the expression, scoffing softly, but not pulling my wrist from his grasp.
"Yeah okay. Gary look at me." With my free hands i wave limply down at my odd socks, old, grey, baggy tracksuit bottoms, not to mention the completely tatty jumper that hangs over my hands and looks like it should be thrown in the nearest skip. "I look like a complete tramp. Anyone would think id been in a fight-" I lean forward to glance in the fridge door at the slightly distorted reflection. "Look at the bags under my eyes! Im not fishing for compliments, Gary, its okay- you can tell me i look a mess."
Gary nods, sensing, i think, that he is fighting a loosing battle. "Why dont you go and sit down." He urges softly, taking hold of my shoulders and steering me towards the breakfast bar. "How about i put the kettle on."
I nod wearily, hauling myself up onto the high stool and dropping my head into my folded arms.
"Have you eaten?" Gary voice is muffled and i hear a clatter of pans as he pulls something metallic from a cupboard.
I shake my head and grunt a no. Gary tuts, but doesnt press the issue like he normally would. Theres a low whistle as the kettle is clicked on and a dull racket as Gary finishes loading the dishwasher. Only when the kettle clicks off, leaving the kitchen in a soothing silence once again, does he speak.
"You need your bed, you know."
"I need a holiday." I mumble, face still mushed against my jumper sleeves. When Gary doesnt answer, i presume he hasnt heard me and i listen sleepily to the sound of water being poured over tea bags. The fridge door opens and closes and Gary hums mindlessly as he moves about the kitchen.
"Daddy?" The tell-tale pitter-patter of feet signals Ethans arrival and theres a quiet clicking then the hiss of gas before Gary answers the toddler.
"Yes mate?"
"Open dis."
"What do you say?"
Theres a pause.
"Pw'ease."
"Good lad."
I listen to the conversation slumped at the breakfast bar with shut eyes and half asleep, although i manage to smile none the less. Gary hands Ethan back whatever plastic packaging it was which required a pair of scissors.
There is an excited "Fank, 'ou, daddy." Before the sound of scampering of feet descends from the kitchen once more.
I listen a little longer, to my husband humming a perfect melody to a song i dont think i know, occasionally softly adding a lyric here or there as he continues to do whatever it is he is doing. I hear the clank of the bread-bin, then the rustle of the bag before the clunk of the toaster leaver being pushed down.
Gary moves towards the cutlery draw, - still humming.
"Dont go to sleep." He murmurs, and his voice quietens as he walks back towards the stove.
"Im not." I attempt to assure from the haven of my arms, but its altogether feeble and wholly unconvincing.
Theres another clatter of plates and the scraping of a knife over toast before a steady thump signals that there is plate above my head.
"Here. Eat." Gary demands, but his tone is soft as he runs a hand over the back of my head.
With my gaze clouded with sleep, i haul my shoulders back, first managing a drowsy look at Gary, who is stood on the other side of the breakfast bar, resting his weight through his fists as they clutch the edge of the counter-top. Also still sickeningly beautiful, he too looks exhausted when he nods down at the plate. I follow his gaze, surveying the breakfast presented to me and i look back up quickly, not able to help the first genuine smile curving my lips all motoring.
"Egg and Soldiers?"
Gary grins from ear to ear, shrugging; and bare forearms contract in the most delicious way as he does so, near collapse or not, i can still appreciate the sight of a damn fine man. "Im no Jamie Oliver."
I smile lazily back down at the plate, lifting the tea spoon, whacking it over the top of the egg and feeling like a five year old again.
"Where would you go?" Gary speaks quietly after a moments silence.
"Hmm?" I frown, not following his line of enquiry.
"Where would you go?" He repeats, rounding the breakfast bar swiftly and occupying the stool next to me. I twist mine to face him. "If we could go on holiday right now- this weekend. Where would we go?"
I smile again and allow myself to dream, racking my burnt out mind to find a location that i have always wanted to go to but never had the chance to.
"You mean just me and you, or Ethan too?"
Gary nods. "Ethan can come too if you want, but a proper break."
"Youre on dangerous ground here you know." I murmur, picking up a piece of toast and dunking it into my egg yolk. "Id rather not think about where i could be right now."
Gary shrugs again. "Whats to say that you cant?"
I nearly choke on my mouthful. "Erh, i work, you work, we have Ethan to think about."
And Gary nods quickly. "No, youre right." He leads forward, planting a chaste kiss on my forehead. "Ill shut up."
Dunking another strip of toast into my egg, i take another moment to think about the ideal holiday location, smiling slowly when i hit the jackpot. "Id take us to The Seychelles." I murmur finally.
I watch, as Garys eyes widen for a nano second as he blinks the expression of alarm from his face and works on a swallow.
"What?"
"Nothing." He shakes his head, but theres a look in his eye that betrays his mouth.
"What?!" I press, dropping the piece of toast back onto my plate and turning to face him completely.
Gary shakes his head again. "Out of everywhere in the world, you'd pick The Seychelles?"
I nod. "Yes."
"Have you been looking at my bank statements?"
"No?.." I frown. "Why would i have been loo.." I gasp when the penny drops, staring across at Gary with wide, expectant eyes and his mouth twists into the full, million dollar grin accompanied by that chocolate truffle chuckle.
"Surprise."
I breathe out a breath i didnt realise id been holding and my shoulder slack against Garys collar bone as he stands suitably behind me.
"You look beat." He murmurs as i begin to relax against him, just as Ethan begins tugging insistently on my wrist.
I have time to mutter an affronted; "Thanks." Before the toddler begins to shout.
"Home now Mummy! I cold." The three year old tightens four little fingers around my wrist as best he can, urging me back up the white gravel dive and towards the house.
"I told you, you should have put a coat on." I manage a weary eyebrow raise as i straighten my spine once more, beginning to plod, at Ethans pace, back up the drive and remembering the tiresome temper tantrum my son had had when id told him he ought to put a coat on to come and say goodbye to Grandma. I wince, realising that any decent parent would have ensured the coat was on before they stepped food outside; but Gary had been busy helping Marjorie with her bags and i am so exhausted that im struggling to see straight.
"Mummy, carry me!" Ethans small voice pulls me from my thoughts and when i look down he is jerking emphatically at my legs, one arm stretched skyward, asking for a lift.
"Ethan." I deadpan, wishing i could be more fun but not quite being able to summon the energy. "I am not carrying you back to the house. Youre a big boy now you can walk on your own."
I watch, despairingly, as the toddlers eyes begin to brim with tears, his little fingers loosing their grip on my tracksuit bottoms as he recoils into himself. And suddenly, i feel like the worst person in the world.
"Ethe.."
"Ethan!" Gary jumps in, moving in front of me to grab the toddlers attention. "How about i race you back?"
For a moment or two, Ethan merely looks at Gary with huge green eyes, the idea of a race being appealing but can he really afford to give up his puppy dog act? "Come on, monster." Gary urges again, poking Ethan in the side so the toddler has no choice but to giggle. Theres another moment of silence before the three year olds face tips into an ear to ear grin.
"Wedy, set, GO!" He shrieks, laughing hysterically as he begins to run as fast as his little legs will carry him along the gravel driveway.
Gary gasps in mock shock, beginning to jog so slowly i almost laugh. "Hey! Thats not fair!"
Theres another shriek of delight from Ethan as his feet patter up the driveway.
"Careful..." I warn, but its no use, theyre out of ear shot already and i dont have the energy to raise my voice...
"I was winner!" Ethan declares happily when i finally step foot through the front door, having dragged my feet up the drive at an alarmingly slow pace.
"Well done you!" I humour the toddler as best i can, bending to ruffle his hair. "Mind you, daddy is getting on a bit now." Straightening again, i look across to Gary who is stood in the threshold of the kitchen and enunciate the words with a little more venom then intended. For a moment he looks slightly offended. Or that could have just been my eyes- Hell this whole scenario could be a god damn dream. When Ethan toddles off into the lounge to play with the plethora of toys he acquired yesterday, with strict instructions not to put anything small in his mouth, i follow Gary into the kitchen, groaning out loud at the sight of breakfast things stacked by the sink and cereal boxes littering the work-tops.
"I didnt mean you looked bad, you know." Gary speaks quietly as he moves towards the stack of dirty plates, carrying them over to the dishwasher.
I follow with as many mugs as i can carry. "I know."
"Do you?" He catches my wrist as i set the mugs on top of the dishwasher for him to stack when hes finished with the plates.
I nod. "Its fine. I know i look a mess."
"No you dont," Garys brow furrows and i raise mine to counter the expression, scoffing softly, but not pulling my wrist from his grasp.
"Yeah okay. Gary look at me." With my free hands i wave limply down at my odd socks, old, grey, baggy tracksuit bottoms, not to mention the completely tatty jumper that hangs over my hands and looks like it should be thrown in the nearest skip. "I look like a complete tramp. Anyone would think id been in a fight-" I lean forward to glance in the fridge door at the slightly distorted reflection. "Look at the bags under my eyes! Im not fishing for compliments, Gary, its okay- you can tell me i look a mess."
Gary nods, sensing, i think, that he is fighting a loosing battle. "Why dont you go and sit down." He urges softly, taking hold of my shoulders and steering me towards the breakfast bar. "How about i put the kettle on."
I nod wearily, hauling myself up onto the high stool and dropping my head into my folded arms.
"Have you eaten?" Gary voice is muffled and i hear a clatter of pans as he pulls something metallic from a cupboard.
I shake my head and grunt a no. Gary tuts, but doesnt press the issue like he normally would. Theres a low whistle as the kettle is clicked on and a dull racket as Gary finishes loading the dishwasher. Only when the kettle clicks off, leaving the kitchen in a soothing silence once again, does he speak.
"You need your bed, you know."
"I need a holiday." I mumble, face still mushed against my jumper sleeves. When Gary doesnt answer, i presume he hasnt heard me and i listen sleepily to the sound of water being poured over tea bags. The fridge door opens and closes and Gary hums mindlessly as he moves about the kitchen.
"Daddy?" The tell-tale pitter-patter of feet signals Ethans arrival and theres a quiet clicking then the hiss of gas before Gary answers the toddler.
"Yes mate?"
"Open dis."
"What do you say?"
Theres a pause.
"Pw'ease."
"Good lad."
I listen to the conversation slumped at the breakfast bar with shut eyes and half asleep, although i manage to smile none the less. Gary hands Ethan back whatever plastic packaging it was which required a pair of scissors.
There is an excited "Fank, 'ou, daddy." Before the sound of scampering of feet descends from the kitchen once more.
I listen a little longer, to my husband humming a perfect melody to a song i dont think i know, occasionally softly adding a lyric here or there as he continues to do whatever it is he is doing. I hear the clank of the bread-bin, then the rustle of the bag before the clunk of the toaster leaver being pushed down.
Gary moves towards the cutlery draw, - still humming.
"Dont go to sleep." He murmurs, and his voice quietens as he walks back towards the stove.
"Im not." I attempt to assure from the haven of my arms, but its altogether feeble and wholly unconvincing.
Theres another clatter of plates and the scraping of a knife over toast before a steady thump signals that there is plate above my head.
"Here. Eat." Gary demands, but his tone is soft as he runs a hand over the back of my head.
With my gaze clouded with sleep, i haul my shoulders back, first managing a drowsy look at Gary, who is stood on the other side of the breakfast bar, resting his weight through his fists as they clutch the edge of the counter-top. Also still sickeningly beautiful, he too looks exhausted when he nods down at the plate. I follow his gaze, surveying the breakfast presented to me and i look back up quickly, not able to help the first genuine smile curving my lips all motoring.
"Egg and Soldiers?"
Gary grins from ear to ear, shrugging; and bare forearms contract in the most delicious way as he does so, near collapse or not, i can still appreciate the sight of a damn fine man. "Im no Jamie Oliver."
I smile lazily back down at the plate, lifting the tea spoon, whacking it over the top of the egg and feeling like a five year old again.
"Where would you go?" Gary speaks quietly after a moments silence.
"Hmm?" I frown, not following his line of enquiry.
"Where would you go?" He repeats, rounding the breakfast bar swiftly and occupying the stool next to me. I twist mine to face him. "If we could go on holiday right now- this weekend. Where would we go?"
I smile again and allow myself to dream, racking my burnt out mind to find a location that i have always wanted to go to but never had the chance to.
"You mean just me and you, or Ethan too?"
Gary nods. "Ethan can come too if you want, but a proper break."
"Youre on dangerous ground here you know." I murmur, picking up a piece of toast and dunking it into my egg yolk. "Id rather not think about where i could be right now."
Gary shrugs again. "Whats to say that you cant?"
I nearly choke on my mouthful. "Erh, i work, you work, we have Ethan to think about."
And Gary nods quickly. "No, youre right." He leads forward, planting a chaste kiss on my forehead. "Ill shut up."
Dunking another strip of toast into my egg, i take another moment to think about the ideal holiday location, smiling slowly when i hit the jackpot. "Id take us to The Seychelles." I murmur finally.
I watch, as Garys eyes widen for a nano second as he blinks the expression of alarm from his face and works on a swallow.
"What?"
"Nothing." He shakes his head, but theres a look in his eye that betrays his mouth.
"What?!" I press, dropping the piece of toast back onto my plate and turning to face him completely.
Gary shakes his head again. "Out of everywhere in the world, you'd pick The Seychelles?"
I nod. "Yes."
"Have you been looking at my bank statements?"
"No?.." I frown. "Why would i have been loo.." I gasp when the penny drops, staring across at Gary with wide, expectant eyes and his mouth twists into the full, million dollar grin accompanied by that chocolate truffle chuckle.
"Surprise."
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