"You gonna tell me what all that was about then?" I murmur so as not to wake Ethan. The three of us are curled up on the settee, Ethan, having lost his battle with over tiredness after the third episode of Postman Pat, sleeps soundly in Gary's lap, head lolled back against the arm of the settee, arms hanging limply by his sides. Gary turns his head ever so slightly, regarding me with an amused gaze, eyebrows flickering towards his hairline the way they always do.
"What about?"
"I cant tell you.." I drawl, doing my best, and still failing dismally, to mimic his voice. "Its a surprise.."
Gary laughs, a genuine, cathartic, head-thrown-back laugh, but regains composure quickly when Ethan stirs in his lap, two sleepy green eyes revealing themselves. We curse in unison, both of us cussing under our breath.
"Ill take him up." I urge softly, standing before the toddler is fully awake again.
"Ill take him if you want?" Gary goes to stand too, propping a drowsy Ethan up in the crook of his arm.
I shake my head with a smile, "I want to."
Gary concedes, leaning back and allowing me to manoeuvre the slumberous toddler into my arms. There is a gurgle of protest from the small mouth, the kind that causes you to freeze and hold your breath so as not to disturb him any further, but im leant over Gary with a 34 month old child in arms and my sense of gravity is severely compromised.
"Shit!"
Garys hands fly either side of my waist just in time, halting my fall. I suppress the laugh, we've come this far, dont ruin it now. For a moment, we stay like this; me, with Ethan half in my arms, bent over Garys lap and his hands on my waist and the sheer artlessness that is so familiar with new parents makes me want to laugh more than anything else.
"Hes going to wake up." I mutter. "And now we're really fucking stuck."
Mirth pulling at the corner of his lips, Gary shifts his weight forwards. "Pick him up, ive got you."
Throwing him a dubious glance, i move my attention back to the, now half sleeping, toddler.
"Oi." The tone of Garys voice steals my attention away from our son, enough to cause me to look back up at him, only to me met with two serious green eyes, widened slightly and eyebrows raised, mouth set in a straight line. "Lib, ive got you."
Regardless of being thoroughly unconvinced, given our teetering position on the edge of the settee, i reach the conclusion that its my only hope of actually being able to move without waking Ethan. And so, with inelegant grace, i hoist Ethan up to my chest, cradling him there while Gary steadies me with large hands either side of my waist.
"Got him?"
"Got him." I whisper back, blowing my hair from my eyes with a sigh. "Ill go and put him down."
Gary nods, only standing himself when he is sure that im comfortably on my own two feet. "Would you like a cup of tea?" He grins knowingly, stretching an index finger to tuck the troublesome piece of hair out of my eyes.
I grin back; a glass of wine for the tricky gymnastics routine seems like an apt reward. "Yes. I would like that very much."
"Mumma." Ethan whines, tiny fingers curling into a fist, reaching up as i place him in the cot.
My breathe catches, for the umpteenth time, in my chest and I lean down to stroke a lock of his curly, copper blonde hair. "Go back to sleep, baby."
"Mumma.." The toddler gurgles again, cheeks reddening with the same impending awareness as heavy grey clouds after a hot summers day.
"Im here Ethe," I coo again, stroking the side of his burning cheeks with my fingertips, willing the small child to drift back into a slumberous state without much turmoil. "You okay baby?"
Ethan mumbles something i cant understand, eyelids giving way to the temptation of a comfy bed and the pressing need to sleep and I hover a little while longer, lingering by the edge of the cot until im sure that the toddler wont wake again. And then, i make my move, creeping across to the landing, closing the door to behind me and then, and only then, do i feel it is safe to release the breath ive been holding since the ritual on the settee.
Peace.
At last.
"What about?"
"I cant tell you.." I drawl, doing my best, and still failing dismally, to mimic his voice. "Its a surprise.."
Gary laughs, a genuine, cathartic, head-thrown-back laugh, but regains composure quickly when Ethan stirs in his lap, two sleepy green eyes revealing themselves. We curse in unison, both of us cussing under our breath.
"Ill take him up." I urge softly, standing before the toddler is fully awake again.
"Ill take him if you want?" Gary goes to stand too, propping a drowsy Ethan up in the crook of his arm.
I shake my head with a smile, "I want to."
Gary concedes, leaning back and allowing me to manoeuvre the slumberous toddler into my arms. There is a gurgle of protest from the small mouth, the kind that causes you to freeze and hold your breath so as not to disturb him any further, but im leant over Gary with a 34 month old child in arms and my sense of gravity is severely compromised.
"Shit!"
Garys hands fly either side of my waist just in time, halting my fall. I suppress the laugh, we've come this far, dont ruin it now. For a moment, we stay like this; me, with Ethan half in my arms, bent over Garys lap and his hands on my waist and the sheer artlessness that is so familiar with new parents makes me want to laugh more than anything else.
"Hes going to wake up." I mutter. "And now we're really fucking stuck."
Mirth pulling at the corner of his lips, Gary shifts his weight forwards. "Pick him up, ive got you."
Throwing him a dubious glance, i move my attention back to the, now half sleeping, toddler.
"Oi." The tone of Garys voice steals my attention away from our son, enough to cause me to look back up at him, only to me met with two serious green eyes, widened slightly and eyebrows raised, mouth set in a straight line. "Lib, ive got you."
Regardless of being thoroughly unconvinced, given our teetering position on the edge of the settee, i reach the conclusion that its my only hope of actually being able to move without waking Ethan. And so, with inelegant grace, i hoist Ethan up to my chest, cradling him there while Gary steadies me with large hands either side of my waist.
"Got him?"
"Got him." I whisper back, blowing my hair from my eyes with a sigh. "Ill go and put him down."
Gary nods, only standing himself when he is sure that im comfortably on my own two feet. "Would you like a cup of tea?" He grins knowingly, stretching an index finger to tuck the troublesome piece of hair out of my eyes.
I grin back; a glass of wine for the tricky gymnastics routine seems like an apt reward. "Yes. I would like that very much."
"Mumma." Ethan whines, tiny fingers curling into a fist, reaching up as i place him in the cot.
My breathe catches, for the umpteenth time, in my chest and I lean down to stroke a lock of his curly, copper blonde hair. "Go back to sleep, baby."
"Mumma.." The toddler gurgles again, cheeks reddening with the same impending awareness as heavy grey clouds after a hot summers day.
"Im here Ethe," I coo again, stroking the side of his burning cheeks with my fingertips, willing the small child to drift back into a slumberous state without much turmoil. "You okay baby?"
Ethan mumbles something i cant understand, eyelids giving way to the temptation of a comfy bed and the pressing need to sleep and I hover a little while longer, lingering by the edge of the cot until im sure that the toddler wont wake again. And then, i make my move, creeping across to the landing, closing the door to behind me and then, and only then, do i feel it is safe to release the breath ive been holding since the ritual on the settee.
Peace.
At last.
When I slip back into the lounge all of fifteen minutes later, Gary is sat on the settee, ankles crossed and feet propped up on the coffee table next to a steaming mug of tea as he sips slowly on a glass of red wine, clearly engrossed in whatever happens to be lighting up the Blackberry screen at that moment. When he senses me in the doorway, he looks up, tipping his head back against the edge of the settee and smiling his shy smile, slipping the phone back into the front pocket of his jeans.
"You've changed." Gary smiles, raising an infamous eyebrow and surveying my attire of leggings and one of his t-shirts. I smile back, shrugging as I drop down next to him.
"It's comfy."
Garys arm loops across my collar bone, pulling me back against his chest as I pull my feet up onto the settee with me, my back to his side. "I approve."
"Oh, thank god." I mock as he smacks a kiss into my hair, "Now, what are we watching?" Picking up the remote, I mindlessly flick through the channels when Gary shrugs, settling finally for a trashy Saturday night Chat Show.
And so, for a while, we sit in a comfortable silence, merely enjoy one another's company, Garys fingers stroking rhythmically back and forth over my clavicle, the occasional laugh rumbling through his chest and my head lolled back against his shoulder.
"He looks like my ex-boyfriend." I mutter idly when Bradley Cooper takes a seat next to Will Smith and Graham Norton. I feel Gary bristle underneath me.
"Is that right?"
"Mm-h." Flicking the sound up another three notches, i decide to take the purposely evasive route, loving the fact that Gary will be pressing me for more information at any moment.
"You know.." He starts, right on cue, and i dont need to take my eyes away from the TV to know that hes gazing down at the top of my head; his eyes, always have and always will, burn holes in my skin when ever he stares, whether i happen to be looking at him or not. "You've never told me much about your ex-boyfriends."
"No?" I hum nonchalantly, attempting to act as indifferently as i can as i reach for the blanket thrown over the arm of the settee and drag it over my lap. "Theres not a lot to tell."
"Then this wont be a very long conversation will it?" Gary smiles, lips against the crown of my head, thumb and forefinger stroking over the collar of my, his, t-shirt. I turn to face him now, twisting in the most elegant way in can manage at eighteen weeks pregnant and throwing my legs over his lap, both amused and confused by his pressing need to know.
"And what piece of information is it you require from me?" I smile coyly as Gary reclines, leaning back against the cream sofa, left arm resting along the arm of the settee, right arm running along the back. He shrugs, the rudiment of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Names. All of them."
"You sounds like a possessive father." I raise an eyebrow.
"I am." Gary fires back, and i pull a face at the incestuous implications. Eager to rid myself of the image, i relent the information.
"You mean all my boyfriends ever? The ones at school as well?"
Gary nods, grinning brazenly now, leaning behind me momentarily for the TV remote and flicking the sound down to background noise level. I sigh.
"Okay. Fifth year, there one serious one."
Garys eyebrow lifts again, a do-go-on kind of gesture.
"His name was Alex, captain of the football team with dreamy blue eyes."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Gary waves a hand in the air. "Alright, cool it."
"You asked!" I gaped in good nature, flicking my hair back over my shoulder to rid it from my eyes.
"Yes, yes, i know. Go on. Who was after Alex? The first serious one."
"You mean the first one i slept with?" Now its my turn to raise an eyebrow, putting my maternally tuned powers of telepathy to good use, and Gary demonstrates no shame in nodding along, eyes glittering in the light cast from the floor lamp. "That would be Alex."
Gary gapes now. "You fucked him?! What where you, like fifteen?!"
"Sixteen!" I correct. "You cant lecture me on that shit anyway!"
"Hey." Gary chides suddenly, jaw grinding. "I was in a band. Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Roll."
"Not at sixteen you weren't!"
And Gary bristles again, swallowing slowly, lips settling into a hard line, but eyes betraying him and shimmering with mirth before he speaks. "I hate Alex."
"Oh." I cant help but grin. "Dont be petty. It didnt last long."
"What didnt? The sex or the relationship?"
"Well," I raise both eyebrows, considering the question for a moment. "On reflection; neither really..."
And Gary laughs. "Thank God for that." Still grinning, his eyes crinkle at the corners as he straightens himself, pulling my legs further over his until my thighs are across his own and im tucked under his arm. "I dont think my ego would have recovered from that."
"You do realise youre trying to have a pissing contest with a sixteen year old kid dont you?" Picking a piece of lint off his t-shirt and dropping it over the arm of the settee. Garys hand carts from my nape to the small of my back in one swift movement, moving beneath the cotton of his t-shirt until we're skin against skin with no sexual inclination; just the sheer comfort of being intimate without intimacy.
"As long as im winning, love. I dont care."
"Youre awful," Half heartedly, i smack Garys chest, with no triumph other than the cotton muted thwack as my palm makes contact with his solid torso.
"Mm-h." He grins down at my feeble attempt to inflict any form of discomfort to him. "Maybe, but come on, tell me, who i else do i beat?"
"He looks like my ex-boyfriend." I mutter idly when Bradley Cooper takes a seat next to Will Smith and Graham Norton. I feel Gary bristle underneath me.
"Is that right?"
"Mm-h." Flicking the sound up another three notches, i decide to take the purposely evasive route, loving the fact that Gary will be pressing me for more information at any moment.
"You know.." He starts, right on cue, and i dont need to take my eyes away from the TV to know that hes gazing down at the top of my head; his eyes, always have and always will, burn holes in my skin when ever he stares, whether i happen to be looking at him or not. "You've never told me much about your ex-boyfriends."
"No?" I hum nonchalantly, attempting to act as indifferently as i can as i reach for the blanket thrown over the arm of the settee and drag it over my lap. "Theres not a lot to tell."
"Then this wont be a very long conversation will it?" Gary smiles, lips against the crown of my head, thumb and forefinger stroking over the collar of my, his, t-shirt. I turn to face him now, twisting in the most elegant way in can manage at eighteen weeks pregnant and throwing my legs over his lap, both amused and confused by his pressing need to know.
"And what piece of information is it you require from me?" I smile coyly as Gary reclines, leaning back against the cream sofa, left arm resting along the arm of the settee, right arm running along the back. He shrugs, the rudiment of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Names. All of them."
"You sounds like a possessive father." I raise an eyebrow.
"I am." Gary fires back, and i pull a face at the incestuous implications. Eager to rid myself of the image, i relent the information.
"You mean all my boyfriends ever? The ones at school as well?"
Gary nods, grinning brazenly now, leaning behind me momentarily for the TV remote and flicking the sound down to background noise level. I sigh.
"Okay. Fifth year, there one serious one."
Garys eyebrow lifts again, a do-go-on kind of gesture.
"His name was Alex, captain of the football team with dreamy blue eyes."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Gary waves a hand in the air. "Alright, cool it."
"You asked!" I gaped in good nature, flicking my hair back over my shoulder to rid it from my eyes.
"Yes, yes, i know. Go on. Who was after Alex? The first serious one."
"You mean the first one i slept with?" Now its my turn to raise an eyebrow, putting my maternally tuned powers of telepathy to good use, and Gary demonstrates no shame in nodding along, eyes glittering in the light cast from the floor lamp. "That would be Alex."
Gary gapes now. "You fucked him?! What where you, like fifteen?!"
"Sixteen!" I correct. "You cant lecture me on that shit anyway!"
"Hey." Gary chides suddenly, jaw grinding. "I was in a band. Sex, Drugs and Rock'n'Roll."
"Not at sixteen you weren't!"
And Gary bristles again, swallowing slowly, lips settling into a hard line, but eyes betraying him and shimmering with mirth before he speaks. "I hate Alex."
"Oh." I cant help but grin. "Dont be petty. It didnt last long."
"What didnt? The sex or the relationship?"
"Well," I raise both eyebrows, considering the question for a moment. "On reflection; neither really..."
And Gary laughs. "Thank God for that." Still grinning, his eyes crinkle at the corners as he straightens himself, pulling my legs further over his until my thighs are across his own and im tucked under his arm. "I dont think my ego would have recovered from that."
"You do realise youre trying to have a pissing contest with a sixteen year old kid dont you?" Picking a piece of lint off his t-shirt and dropping it over the arm of the settee. Garys hand carts from my nape to the small of my back in one swift movement, moving beneath the cotton of his t-shirt until we're skin against skin with no sexual inclination; just the sheer comfort of being intimate without intimacy.
"As long as im winning, love. I dont care."
"Youre awful," Half heartedly, i smack Garys chest, with no triumph other than the cotton muted thwack as my palm makes contact with his solid torso.
"Mm-h." He grins down at my feeble attempt to inflict any form of discomfort to him. "Maybe, but come on, tell me, who i else do i beat?"
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