I sit with Luke, and a strong mug of black coffee, around my dining room table, sifting through an uncountable amount of papers. Its getting on for ten and we chat as we work, the reassuring gurgle from Ethans baby monitor lessening the potentially harsh silence each time we fall quiet.
"This is obscene." Luke lets out a disgruntled sigh, throwing his Biro down and watching it drown in the sea of documentation.
Nodding in agreement, my eyes slipping in and out of focus, my exhaustion gripping me, as i glance up at the clock.
10.07pm
Gary should be back any minute. From whatever gig hes doing tonight. Hes been out so much lately and im sick of being on my own, and so now im sat here, half asleep and working with Luke at ten past ten on a Tuesday.
"Maybe we should call it a night?" I offer, quietly eager to get Luke gone so i can go to bed, but right on cue, the baby monitor broadcasts a shrill scream from my sleeping son, preventing me from hearing my desired answer. Standing, i shake my head. "Im sorry, i better go and see to him. Ill be back in a minute."
Of course, Luke grins amiably as i scuttle out.
"Mumma!" Ethan wails again as i push his door open. "Mumma, daddy, daddy!"
"Hey baby." I whisper, flicking on the night light to reveal a tear stained face gazing up at me though the darkness. The toddler clambers to his feet as soon as he sees me, extending his arms in a gestured request to be lifted up and out of the cot. Of course, i comply, swinging him into my arms and cradling him against my chest, stroking a hand though his over-growing hair. "Whats wrong?" I whisper sympathetically, pulling back to press my lips against his forehead as i hand him 'Lizebeth, the pale blue bunny rabbit, which he grabs onto as if it were a life line. "Whats wrong, Ethe?"
His only response is to nestle his head against my neck as i sway him rhythmically, his knuckles white as he clutches 'lizebeth for dear life, occasionally pulling the toy up to his face and rubbing the velvet material against his cheek. I kiss his head again and continue to sway.
"Are you going to tell me whats wrong?" I whisper one more time, but when i get no answer, i know hes fast asleep once more. Tentatively, i lower him back down into the cot, warily avoiding pulling 'lizebeth from his grasp as i tuck him in under the fluffy blue blanket, stroking his forehead gently with my finger tips and whispering a good night kiss, before flicking off the night light and heading back to my waiting company.
"Sorry about that." I let out a breathy laugh as i rejoin Luke, who has, like an angel, arranged the mass of papers into four neat piles. I gawk momentarily. "Jesus! Thank you. Youre a star." I commend as he pulls on a cliche raincoat. Luke shrugs.
"It was no bother, thanks for having me." He grins.
"Thanks for coming." I laugh, leading him down the hall and to the front door. "What can i say? I needed the help."
Luke grins again as i pull the door open, letting in an icy blast from the night. "Any time. Ill see you tomorrow."
I smile back. "See you tomorrow Luke." Before shutting the door, running back to the settee and collapsing.
The front door clatters and Gary bursts in, mid-way through a verse of Never Forget. I sit upright on the settee, abruptly woken from my slumber as Gary continues to sing. Theres an audible fumble as he kicks off his shoes and i can tell hes had a drink. Emerging from the lounge, i greet him.
"Good night?" My voice croaks, its thick with sleep and im not even sure i can be heard over his ridiculously loud voice. But Gary stops singing suddenly and turns to face me, and element of alarm on his face and his brow pulling together when he see me, he eyes my work clothes in disapproval. "Are you still working?"
I shake my head, "I fell asleep."
"Did i wake you?" His eyes widen apprehensively, but he opens his arms requesting a hug, regardless.
"No." I lie, sashaying into his embrace and gripping the lapels of his jacket as he kisses me hungrily on the lips. I pull away in distaste.
"How much have you had to drink?"
Garys face drops like a school boy caught doing something he shouldnt be, and his long fingers move to tug loose the thin black tie which hangs around his neck. He moves to unfasten his top button, but i beat him too it, silently prompting him to continue.
"Maybe one or two?.."
"One or too what?" I raise an eyebrow, i can taste the liquor on my own lips.
Gary shrugs again, reciprocating my action and unfastening the top button to my blouse, running a fingertip absent mindedly along my cleavage. "Brandy's." His eyes follow the path of his finger and for a fleeting moment he looks the way Ethan does when hes deeply engrossed in his latest toy.
I produce a disbelieving grunt from somewhere inside my throat, but Garys eyes widen.
"I promise! It was only a couple! I told them i had to come home, to my wife, because i love her."
I laugh loudly. "No you didnt!"
"I did!"
"No you didnt!"
Gary pouts and pretends to be hurt. I remain impassive, my hands on his shoulders as his fingers reach for my second button. "Are you mad?" His voice is small and sleepy, and for a brief second i consider playing it out, just to see his reaction. But i shake my head.
"No baby, but youre drunk and you need your bed."
Gary snorts. "Im not drunk. And i dont need my bed."
My eyebrow flickers towards my hairline. "Im not arguing. Get up those stairs Barlow."
"I cant walk." He protests, dropping his head onto my shoulder, simultaneously reaching my final button and slipping his hands inside my blouse. I wiggle.
"Stop it."
"Stop what?!"
"This." Reluctantly, i reach for his hands, pulling them away from my body. "Stop trying to butter me up."
Gary swallows steadily, and my heart skips a beat as his lips settle into a steady line.
"What?!"
"I need to go to Manchester for a couple of days next week." He screws his face up as if he were talking about something horribly unpleasant, but my heart sinks. Oh.
"Youre going away again?" I cant retain the disappointment from my tone.
"Come with me?" Garys hands return to their place inside my blouse and this time i dont stop him. I roll my eyes.
"You know i cant."
"But you can, babe." Gary sighs. His eyes plead with my own. "Please. I want you with me."
"Gary. I cant."
"But you want to."
I falter. Hes right.Of course i want to.
"See." Gary continues when i say nothing. "Youve already thought about it."
Again i have nothing to say. It was, after all, the first thought that crossed my mind when the words left his lips. I sigh. "Gary, i cant just drop everything to follow you around."
"But i want you to." Garys response is earnest, but i decide to put the ridiculous statement down to the amount of liquor hes consumed.
"I have a job, Gary im not coming."
"Then im not going." He continues to stare at me. Its unnerving.
"Will you stop being ridiculous and go to bed please?" I swat his arm, but he catches it quickly and pulls my hand to his mouth, kissing my forefinger before slipping it between lips.
I glare back at him skeptically in the dim light of the hall as he sucks slowly, occasionally grazing his teeth along my flesh.
"Stop." Disappointingly, i find myself breathless and Gary looses finger, only to step into my quickly, taking me completely by surprise as his hands cup my back side, squeezing roughly in his drunken stupor.
"Please?" Garys breathe is hot against my cleavage as he dips his knees against mine. "Come with me?"
Appalled at my self control, pointlessly attempt to regain my fluctuating breath. After not seeing him all day theres no way i can refrain myself.
"Please?" Gary mutters again, his lips puckering along the edge of my bra cup. "Please?" His hands glide lower until they find the hem of my pencil skirt. "Please?" My knees weaken as his tongue dips into my bra. Unwillingly my hands move into his hair and his fingers snap the elastic of my stockings against the tops of my thighs and the blood pounds, heated, through my veins..."Please?"
"Fine!" I concede, defeated by the steaming assault. "Fine, fine fine, ill come!"
"This is obscene." Luke lets out a disgruntled sigh, throwing his Biro down and watching it drown in the sea of documentation.
Nodding in agreement, my eyes slipping in and out of focus, my exhaustion gripping me, as i glance up at the clock.
10.07pm
Gary should be back any minute. From whatever gig hes doing tonight. Hes been out so much lately and im sick of being on my own, and so now im sat here, half asleep and working with Luke at ten past ten on a Tuesday.
"Maybe we should call it a night?" I offer, quietly eager to get Luke gone so i can go to bed, but right on cue, the baby monitor broadcasts a shrill scream from my sleeping son, preventing me from hearing my desired answer. Standing, i shake my head. "Im sorry, i better go and see to him. Ill be back in a minute."
Of course, Luke grins amiably as i scuttle out.
"Mumma!" Ethan wails again as i push his door open. "Mumma, daddy, daddy!"
"Hey baby." I whisper, flicking on the night light to reveal a tear stained face gazing up at me though the darkness. The toddler clambers to his feet as soon as he sees me, extending his arms in a gestured request to be lifted up and out of the cot. Of course, i comply, swinging him into my arms and cradling him against my chest, stroking a hand though his over-growing hair. "Whats wrong?" I whisper sympathetically, pulling back to press my lips against his forehead as i hand him 'Lizebeth, the pale blue bunny rabbit, which he grabs onto as if it were a life line. "Whats wrong, Ethe?"
His only response is to nestle his head against my neck as i sway him rhythmically, his knuckles white as he clutches 'lizebeth for dear life, occasionally pulling the toy up to his face and rubbing the velvet material against his cheek. I kiss his head again and continue to sway.
"Are you going to tell me whats wrong?" I whisper one more time, but when i get no answer, i know hes fast asleep once more. Tentatively, i lower him back down into the cot, warily avoiding pulling 'lizebeth from his grasp as i tuck him in under the fluffy blue blanket, stroking his forehead gently with my finger tips and whispering a good night kiss, before flicking off the night light and heading back to my waiting company.
"Sorry about that." I let out a breathy laugh as i rejoin Luke, who has, like an angel, arranged the mass of papers into four neat piles. I gawk momentarily. "Jesus! Thank you. Youre a star." I commend as he pulls on a cliche raincoat. Luke shrugs.
"It was no bother, thanks for having me." He grins.
"Thanks for coming." I laugh, leading him down the hall and to the front door. "What can i say? I needed the help."
Luke grins again as i pull the door open, letting in an icy blast from the night. "Any time. Ill see you tomorrow."
I smile back. "See you tomorrow Luke." Before shutting the door, running back to the settee and collapsing.
The front door clatters and Gary bursts in, mid-way through a verse of Never Forget. I sit upright on the settee, abruptly woken from my slumber as Gary continues to sing. Theres an audible fumble as he kicks off his shoes and i can tell hes had a drink. Emerging from the lounge, i greet him.
"Good night?" My voice croaks, its thick with sleep and im not even sure i can be heard over his ridiculously loud voice. But Gary stops singing suddenly and turns to face me, and element of alarm on his face and his brow pulling together when he see me, he eyes my work clothes in disapproval. "Are you still working?"
I shake my head, "I fell asleep."
"Did i wake you?" His eyes widen apprehensively, but he opens his arms requesting a hug, regardless.
"No." I lie, sashaying into his embrace and gripping the lapels of his jacket as he kisses me hungrily on the lips. I pull away in distaste.
"How much have you had to drink?"
Garys face drops like a school boy caught doing something he shouldnt be, and his long fingers move to tug loose the thin black tie which hangs around his neck. He moves to unfasten his top button, but i beat him too it, silently prompting him to continue.
"Maybe one or two?.."
"One or too what?" I raise an eyebrow, i can taste the liquor on my own lips.
Gary shrugs again, reciprocating my action and unfastening the top button to my blouse, running a fingertip absent mindedly along my cleavage. "Brandy's." His eyes follow the path of his finger and for a fleeting moment he looks the way Ethan does when hes deeply engrossed in his latest toy.
I produce a disbelieving grunt from somewhere inside my throat, but Garys eyes widen.
"I promise! It was only a couple! I told them i had to come home, to my wife, because i love her."
I laugh loudly. "No you didnt!"
"I did!"
"No you didnt!"
Gary pouts and pretends to be hurt. I remain impassive, my hands on his shoulders as his fingers reach for my second button. "Are you mad?" His voice is small and sleepy, and for a brief second i consider playing it out, just to see his reaction. But i shake my head.
"No baby, but youre drunk and you need your bed."
Gary snorts. "Im not drunk. And i dont need my bed."
My eyebrow flickers towards my hairline. "Im not arguing. Get up those stairs Barlow."
"I cant walk." He protests, dropping his head onto my shoulder, simultaneously reaching my final button and slipping his hands inside my blouse. I wiggle.
"Stop it."
"Stop what?!"
"This." Reluctantly, i reach for his hands, pulling them away from my body. "Stop trying to butter me up."
Gary swallows steadily, and my heart skips a beat as his lips settle into a steady line.
"What?!"
"I need to go to Manchester for a couple of days next week." He screws his face up as if he were talking about something horribly unpleasant, but my heart sinks. Oh.
"Youre going away again?" I cant retain the disappointment from my tone.
"Come with me?" Garys hands return to their place inside my blouse and this time i dont stop him. I roll my eyes.
"You know i cant."
"But you can, babe." Gary sighs. His eyes plead with my own. "Please. I want you with me."
"Gary. I cant."
"But you want to."
I falter. Hes right.Of course i want to.
"See." Gary continues when i say nothing. "Youve already thought about it."
Again i have nothing to say. It was, after all, the first thought that crossed my mind when the words left his lips. I sigh. "Gary, i cant just drop everything to follow you around."
"But i want you to." Garys response is earnest, but i decide to put the ridiculous statement down to the amount of liquor hes consumed.
"I have a job, Gary im not coming."
"Then im not going." He continues to stare at me. Its unnerving.
"Will you stop being ridiculous and go to bed please?" I swat his arm, but he catches it quickly and pulls my hand to his mouth, kissing my forefinger before slipping it between lips.
I glare back at him skeptically in the dim light of the hall as he sucks slowly, occasionally grazing his teeth along my flesh.
"Stop." Disappointingly, i find myself breathless and Gary looses finger, only to step into my quickly, taking me completely by surprise as his hands cup my back side, squeezing roughly in his drunken stupor.
"Please?" Garys breathe is hot against my cleavage as he dips his knees against mine. "Come with me?"
Appalled at my self control, pointlessly attempt to regain my fluctuating breath. After not seeing him all day theres no way i can refrain myself.
"Please?" Gary mutters again, his lips puckering along the edge of my bra cup. "Please?" His hands glide lower until they find the hem of my pencil skirt. "Please?" My knees weaken as his tongue dips into my bra. Unwillingly my hands move into his hair and his fingers snap the elastic of my stockings against the tops of my thighs and the blood pounds, heated, through my veins..."Please?"
"Fine!" I concede, defeated by the steaming assault. "Fine, fine fine, ill come!"
amazing chapter update soon
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